It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
