Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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