I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
