Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
