I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
