I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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