Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
