I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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