I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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