I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Randomize
