I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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