bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
