that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
