today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
