Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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