My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
