OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
