Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
