i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
