you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
