Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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