I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
