So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
