Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Brb crying the tears of my youth
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
