Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
