I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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