is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
