Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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