I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My life is pants optional.
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