Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
PANTIES FOUND
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
