I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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