Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
