matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
