i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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