it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It was like getting head from an anaconda
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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