He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
