We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You took a bar mat shot.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
