just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
