I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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