I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
