Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
