I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
