Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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