Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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