no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
