evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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