I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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