How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
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