I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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