these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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