So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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